What is Etherapie
An Ethérapie™️ session is a dialogue between your cellular memory and your conscious mind made possible by an Ethérapie™️ practitioner. By the end of the consultation, the various causes of stress, malaise, and the roots of unhappiness are identified and reparative processes are put in place.
Ethérapie™️ is a humanistic approach;
It also takes into consideration the fact that life is a perpetual change.
Ethérapie™️ adjusts to both the societal and energetical context. 2012 marked the beginning of profound changes. In astrology we are in a very significant transitional period, related to the installation of the Aquarian Age. From a systemic point of view, we are in a phase of necessary chaos for the evolution of the system.
Therefore, Ethérapie™️, indeed, recontextualizes the approach, or “movement”. Above all, Ethérapie™️ is a holistic care living system, as Life is a perpetual motion itself.
Paris-based expert therapists, Pascale & Marc Polizzi, Ethérapie™️ founders, propose individual consultations for life coaching or brief therapy. They also provide external supervision for experienced practitioners, coaches and therapists. Their Transpersonal, systemic and Sophia-therapist approach gives a rare and complementary axis compared to other approaches.
Their expertise areas are:
- . How to (re)find meaning in Life,
- . Remaining at your optimum capacities under competitive conditions (studies, management, sports),
- . Systemic steering (family system, company, ...),
- . Causality search and meaning (decoding),
- . Adaptation strategy for High Potential persons (HP), Intellectually High Potential persons (HPI), Emotionally High Potential persons (HPE), Zebras,...
- . Hyper-Sensoriality or High Sensitivity Management (persons described by Dr. Elaine Aron as HSP: Highly Sensitive Persons)
- . Finding answers to metaphysical questions, …
In May 2019, the first Ethérapie™️ symposium will be held in Paris, France.
This event has been a catalyst for me to challenge myself to summarize the movement/approach through this handbook writing so English speakers can be as lucky as French ones. My goal is for English speakers to discover this approach and eventually benefit from the genuinely life changing healing that is Ethérapie™️. I am living proof of it, however, that is a different story, which I gratefully share through interviews and other occasions.
The symposium will be indeed for any audience interested in adding a string to their bow as therapists and coaches. It is also for anyone who is open to or interested in bringing more sense, more coherence, and congruence to their life and, therefore, much more happiness.
Since I had the great opportunity to live in the United States for 12 years, and because I discovered Ethérapie™️ quite early on on my path, I am the bridge between both languages, between French and English-Speaking cultures and approaches to coaching, brief therapy, Transpersonal,...
This handbook is the first step to helping those outside the French borders discover Ethérapie™️.
First I would like to thank Pascale and Marc Polizzi, Ethérapie™️ founders, for all the healing they brought into my own life… I will always be forever and beyond grateful to them. Also, I am tremendously honored they are entrusting me with the responsibility of coordinating the Ethérapie™️ movement outside of France. I will always be thankful for all their work, time, and trust.
Another very special thank you to Catherine and Eric Boulain, Ethérapie™️ experts, without whom I wouldn’t be here today. I first discover this amazing approach through them, and I am forever and beyond grateful for their introduction, all the healing they brought into my life as well, their time and trust.
Also a big thank you to my international clients who have already been choosing to jump into and build up the truth towards this innovative brief therapy, coaching, and supervision approach.
This handbook is intended for non-French speakers to globally share an introductory description of what Ethérapie™️ is.
Most Ethérapie™️ trained practitioners are, now, French natives, as our training centers are located in Paris and French regions. However, some of us already have international clients and patients, and travel on a regular basis when in-person session is preferred to video call sessions. For instance, I am myself mostly dedicated to US and Australian based clients.
Now let’s give you this first insight about Ethérapie™️ through this handbook and please feel free to reach out to Pascale and Marc Polizzi <firstname.lastname@example.org> to get the list of English speaking trained Ethérapie™️ practitioners if you wish to pursue Ethérapie™️ through the brief therapy - life coaching format, and/or training programs available for coaches and practitioners wishing to have an additional string to their bow.
So what is Ethérapie™️?
First, an Ethérapie™️ session is kind of a dialogue between your cellular memory and your conscious mind via an Ethérapie™️ practitioner. At the end of the consultation the various causes of stresses and therefore malaise and roots of unhappiness are identified and reparative processes are put in place.
- Ethérapie™️ is a humanistic approach.
- Ethérapie™️ takes into consideration the fact that life is perpetually change.
- Ethérapie™️ adjusts to both societal and energetical context.
Since 2012 profound changes and mutations have begun as a matter of fact. In astrology we are in a quite big transitional period, related to the installation of the Aquarian Age. From a systemic point of view we are in a phase of necessary chaos for the evolution of the system. Therefore indeed Ethérapie™️ recontextualizes as the approach (or we should even say “movement” instead) is above all a holistic care living system, as Life is a perpetual motion itself.
Paris-based expert therapists and coaches, Ethérapie™️ founders, Pascale & Marc Polizzi, propose individual consultations for life coaching or brief therapy. They also provide external supervision for coaches and other discipline practitioners such as naturopath, osteopath, aromatherapist, hypnotherapist, energetical therapists, etc.
Their Transpersonal, systemic and Sophia-therapeutic (ie including philosophy, psychology and practical wisdom) approach gives a rare and complementary axis to other approaches.
Their expertise areas are:
- . How to (re)find meaning in Life,
- . Remaining at your optimum capacities under competitive conditions (studies, management, sports),
- . Systemic steering (family system, company, ...),
- . Causality search and meaning (decoding),
- . Adaptation strategy for High Potential persons (HP), Intellectually High Potential persons (HPI), Emotionally High Potential persons (HPE), Zebras,...
- . Hyper-Sensoriality or High Sensitivity Management (persons described by Dr. Elaine Aron as HSP: Highly Sensitive Persons)
- . Finding answers to metaphysical questions
CHAPTER 1: Ethérapie™️’s overall definition
1. Ethérapie™️ General presentation
Ethérapie™️ finds its origins in Marc Polizzi’s personal background. Marc has been trained through widest range of approaches. After graduating with the highest scientific degree in France, a PhD - French aggregation from Ecole Normale Supérieure in Engineering Sciences, he pursued his interest in linking all these approaches together. Hence, Marc developed the integrative side, while also discovering that all of these approaches were missing true meaning in the spiritual field.Therefore, he created Ethérapie™️ to fulfill this critical void.
His current wife, Pascale, quickly joined him in the process.
After successfully obtaining her PhD and pursuing a career as a dental surgeon, holistic dentistry inspired Pascale to look toward more right-brain approaches. It was after many complementary trainings and therapeutic work that she met Marc. Since 2006, they have together formalized and been sharing the Ethérapie™️ approach through many books and trainings, including coaching clients and companies in more than 20 countries already.
Now that you have an overview of its background and roots, what is Ethérapie™️ concept?
In Ethérapie™️, we are interested in the concept that sets the body as a guide of wisdom, therefore we work through body mediation including specific form of Qi Gong and Yoga through a “giving meaning” perspective. This involves a transpersonal element, which I will explain later in more depth, but will summarize now. The Transpersonal approach is a psychological current about "what goes beyond the person". It is basically about “know yourself so you will know the Gods”; by Gods we mean inner Gods and thus "to radiate who we are".
Ethérapie™️ is unique because it is for a public in search of meaning. It is for people looking for an understanding of "what has happened to me". Ethérapie™️ comes as the 2nd level of the healing process when these people tried standard methods and want to go further because they realize that they are still missing something.
Ethérapie™️ (pronounced ETHER-(H)APPY) is an unleashing technique that releases stress, more specifically by giving meaning to metaphysical problems and other existential questions.
This ecological approach of the human being, in agreement with the cellular intelligence of the body, makes it possible to identify the causes of our internal disagreements (often subconscious), generally related to old patterns or memorized programs which are today unsuitable.
These internal disagreements, source of tensions (stress), are big consumers of energy and prevent us from reaching our full creative potential.
By restoring the inner initial TAO, therefore the individual’s free flow of the yin yang energy, Ethérapie™️allows the person to walk harmoniously and consciously through his or her journey & towards his or her life goals, whatever the fields: affective, family, studies, work related, coaching…
Ethérapie™️ definition also evolves according to the current Age evolution.
The word "Ethérapie™️” comes from “ether” and “pi”. In the Vedic cosmogonical model, ether is the energy of the Soul Plane which governs causality. As for Pi, it is the irrational and transcending number that describes the symbolism of the circle, the basis of the TAO sacred geometry.
As previously explained, since 2012 profound changes and mutations have begun. In astrology we are in a significant transitional period, linked to the installation of the Aquarian Age. Therefore Ethérapie™️ continues recontextualizing, as does its spectrum and definition.
For instances, here is the 2018 definition:
- For sensitive people searching for meaning, Ethérapie™️ is a complementary health approach of body-soul-mind which allows us to go further in the resolution and understanding of life issues.
Now, let’s give it a 2019 definition:
- Ethérapie™️ is an integrative approach that includes, via biotesting (radiesthesia), internal references setting to heal one’s relation to oneself, while giving meaning to one’s relational modes to guide her/him in her/his relationship with others, and finally, the response to metaphysical stress regarding one’s relationship with Life.
How does it works?
The tools of the Ethérapist or Ethérapie™️ practitioner are the biotesting and the cell re-information or reprogramming. Thanks to the biotest, the practitioner indeed connects with the person as a whole, and accesses with the patient to the causality of the encountered difficulties.
When the conscious and the subconscious are in agreement (the harmony of the person is also called her ecology), tracks of effective & durable reprogramming can be found.
To use a metaphor, the captain of a boat needs information to navigate correctly, on the one hand to navigate and, on the other hand, to know where he is going. Ethérapie™️ gives the captain good visibility for his navigation and reconnects him with his travel itinerary.
The reprogramming methods that are used are various, relying mainly on right-brain or proven coaching tools.
The name of "Ethérapie™️” comes from "ether" which would be translated today by "quantum information" and "Pi", symbolic number at the basis of the sacred geometry, used by the Egyptians of the Antiquity.
Ethérapie™️ is an excellent complement to traditional therapeutic and coaching approaches for all difficult cases. Of course, at the end of the consultation, the various causes of stress(es), malaise and unhappiness will have been identified, a reparative process will have been put in place, and a checklist of acts to be taken will have been established if necessary.
2. Now what is Ethérapie™️ according to....
A. Health Principles
Published article in “Principes de Santé” (Health Principles) Magazine - #55 - in April 2013 (www.principes-de-santé.com)
Reclaiming your original energy:
A recent discipline, Ethérapie™️ is a holistic therapeutic approach. Based on ancestral principles, it aims to reconnect us to the fundamental energy which is in our body since conception. The name Ethérapie™️ comes from the word "ether". Marc, one of the founders of the discipline, recalls: "the name “ether” covered the field of quantum information before the advent of this science, and" Pi ", the famous 3.14 of the equation of the circle and basis of the sacred geometry." With his wife Pascale, Marc is at the origin of this therapy whose goal is to bring consciousness and coherence to all facets of our being in order to make progress in the realization of oneself.
The starting point is based on the two energies that the Chinese traditions call Yin-Yang, which define the two fundamental polarities without which life would not be possible. On the day of our conception, our Yin-Yang polarization must be perfect for life to become incarnate. "To use a metaphor of these energies, think that they are like an internal battery to which a bulb is connected allowing the human being that we are to radiate", explains Pascale.
However, the intrauterine life, the conditions of birth, the early childhood often force us to deviate from this perfection. To adapt to the adult world, and especially to our parents’, we are forced to find solutions that are often different from those leading to fulfillment.
Re-connection to your initial Tao:
According to Marc and Pascale, it is through a mental, symbolic and energetical approach that Ethérapie™️ allows us to rediscover this original energy connection that we had at the moment of our conception. To do such reconnection work, the Ethérapist will be able to use what the Polizzi call "biotesting". It is simply the tool that each alternative approach uses in its own field: the muscular test for Kinesiologists, the pulse palpation for traditional Chinese medicine, the primary breathing movement (MRP) for osteopaths... This personal feeling which is cultivated and acquired during a training course thus allows to probe the cellular memory, in other words the subconscious knowledge of our body. "The body does, indeed, know what is good for him, says Marc. If we wanted to use a more modern vocabulary we would speak of morphic field."
Firstly, using a check-list type structured protocol and the biotest, the Ethérapist identifies all the conditioning that caused the person to move away from his/her “axis” (his/her Yin or his/her Yang). "As the discovery progresses, the Ethérapist must share it with the person so he/she can mentally, build bridges, create landmarks or feel what resonates for him/her. It is like bringing awareness of psychological patterns" continues Marc. "Then the Ethérapist leads the person in search of a symbol allowing him/her to reconnect with his/her archetypal energy, his/her original Tao”, goes on Pascale. “The person will work the Yang at the first session, then the Yin at the next one, integration time between both being necessary, indeed. "
The power of symbol is now recognized around the world. But how to find the adapted symbol for the person knowing that he/she is eminently subjective and even sometimes unconscious? "By using the biotest again," says Pascale, who, using a well-structured protocol, will find this symbolic reconnection image and the energy work to do after the session. Then she continues, "Finally, the last step is a classic energetical treatment. It's the equivalent of an acupuncture session or shiatsu. The difference mainly comes from the work done upstream."
Finding your axis:
How can we know that we have reached the reconnection goal? "When we're not on our original Tao, we adapt like a wind vane, at best wind," answers Marc. "If the weather is changing, it's very tiring even exhausting! Once our original Tao is reconnected, we are like a roly-poly toy, this little character on a rounded and heavy base: it tilts but quickly returns to its center no matter what! It can live and adapt to the vicissitudes of life with less effort and stress. Once such base is restored, Ethérapie™️ can also help the person in his/her life development event though the reconnection to his/her original Tao remains the basis of Ethérapie’s™️ specific approach.
B. Keys to Life
Published article in “Clés de vie” (“Keys to life”) in 2011 (www.ClesDeVie.com)
Life coaching and metaphysical stress management:
I was introduced to Pascale & Marc and Ethérapie™️ over a year ago. l Even at our initial meeting, I felt the importance of our introduction. And indeed, I can say today, as can many of my friends, that there is a before and after Ethérapie™️!
First of all, after going through many therapies and following many different teachings, I can affirm that there is no miracle therapy.There are only men and women, therapists or not, whom we meet when we are ready…
Setting up the person’s archetypal Yin-Yang energy is the basis of Ethérapie™️.
This is the first thing we do in Ethérapie™️: balancing one's yin and one's yang, these two complementary forces that rule our world. Restoring the balance between the inner father, and the inner mother, whose images are both inherited from our biological parents, is a key prerequisite for restoring the self-healing elements.
This is an approach that can be found in many other fields: psychological, spiritual, energetical, or medical. We often find this prerequisite of complementary forces rebalancing. The great thing with Ethérapie™️ is that it explains this mechanism in a clear and educational way, and one then has as better understanding of how the other approaches work. It is one of the clearly stated aims of Ethérapie™️. Through the systemic and quantum physics models amongst others, it allows an understanding of the evolution & blocking processes that take place, as well as the therapist or counselor’s role and function as a mediator.
To rebalance one’s yin yang (one’s "Tao"), it is appropriate to go through a symbolic substitute. Our body and our subconscious, needs to revive this primordial energy (yin or yang) through a symbol which will be determined with the Ethérapist and verified with an energical tool called "biotest". The symbol can belong to the plant, animal, or mineral world. After the session, the person who came for the session is asked to imbibe the symbol for a specific period of 21 days, corresponding to the period the subconscious needs to gradually restructure itself.
Rebalancing, for instance, one’s yin will automatically imply a resonance in one’s yang, which will "evolve". This triggers an ascending spiral, rich in successive and beneficial awakenings…
Regarding ethics, Ethérapie™️ is exemplary: the whole process is motivated by an action that must be as ecological as possible for oneself and for her/his development. "Ecological" means benevolent, or "beneficial" as one would have said before; that is to say that it is one’s body that choose the best possible solution and that it must always translate into more well-being (or less of a problem!), both in the short and in the long run.
Finally I would say that Marc and Pascale’s work is very subtle. It does not lead to transfiguration or metamorphosis. We will leave such to the tales, storytellers and thrill seekers…
The “TAO” rebalancing is a natural process and in accordance with one’s deep convictions (those from one’ soul).
The work also revolves around our beliefs, our limiting beliefs, which are, in fact, intimately linked to our "energetical blockings". It is impossible to get away without giving up the beliefs that go with it! To become aware of the extent to which we still operate according to the BVS mindset (bully, victim, savior), for example, is crucial to me!
It is difficult to give a quick overview of this approach because it is very comprehensive. In addition to the "understanding" mentioned above, the aim is to give the future therapist tools allowing him/her to understand the problem in a systemic way, with an orientation of causality, whatever it may be, to unravel the blocking causes. The therapist can then go to the essentials in order to trigger a process of self-healing within the person seeking help. The related issues are especially malaise, unhappiness and stress, not directly health problems.
What is certain is that regular work with them made me understand many things about my functioning, and their teaching really changed my perspective on the world. My view has been somehow pacified.
C. A “yoga therapist ”
By Olivier Walter, yoga therapist (www.ArtDuYoga.fr)
Ethérapie™️ is a holistic therapeutic system based on several postulates simultaneously inspired by the Living Spiritual Traditions, advanced sciences, and new therapies based on a psychology of the BEing: the human being is an entity that participates in fundamental laws of the universe. He is of celestial essence and earthly nature. It is the balance between these two dimensions that characterizes the state of health of the person. Ethérapie™️ is therefore a therapy of the BEing and aims, through a specific protocol, to restore the psycho-organic homeostasis of the person, taking into account its ontological complexity in relation to the social, environmental complexity, "where the interior and the exterior meet, there is the seat of the soul.”
Regardless of the terminology used, most of the cosmogonic models (Vedic, Taoist, Hebrew, Sufi), and the anthropological ones resulting from it offer a reading of the consciousness through several plans, or worlds, that correspond respectively to several bodies, or forms, as well as to several inherent energies. From the divine worlds to the worlds of the rawest material, the holographic organization of the universe shows that man is a constitutive element of the universe and that what he thinks, says and makes is actually part of the universal harmony (Dharma in the Vedic model).
Ethérapie™️ proceeds as a trans-disciplinary vision of the world and Man in the sense that the real or actual is apprehended in a global way and not only causal. Rich from quantum physics basic concepts, the “actual” is presented as a dynamic of the whole itself, governing the order of its parts. From this order, the complexity and heterogeneity of the Living is organized. Macrocosm and microcosm are part of an independent and autonomous totality and unity, yet they are the foundation of multiplicity. The complexity of the Living participates in this uniqueness and is part of the invisible relationships that connect it to the whole.
We know that quantum physics joins the very foundations of certain metaphysics: the particle manifests itself sometimes in the form of a corpuscle, and other times in the form of "wave packets". Now, this particle is inseparable, both corpuscle and wave. This dual characteristic accurately accounts for levels of reality. At the sensitive level - body / matter - causal order justifies logic and rationality as a tool of measurement. However, we can not reduce all levels of realities to this causal order.
The quantum vacuum is not a nothingness but a consciousness of which the forces of attraction and repulsion act at the same time and allow the atom to exist. It is the equilibrium of the movement, in terms of attraction and repulsion, between the positive charge of the nucleus and the negative charge of the electrons, which determines the existence of the atom. And this equilibrium law (holomovement, bootstrap, self-generating), expresses both the unity of the whole and its manifestation in the form of energy and consciousness.
Homeostasis is defined as a process by which an organism tries to maintain an internal biological balance and a stable state. Consider that the human compound is not limited to its biological reality, and that the latter results from an intrinsic “form of the unique reality” (the Divine). This is at once the “whole” as an irreducible real (or actual) and part as reducible real. Then it will be understood that the balance between the Worlds of the Intelligible (the Plan of Essences and Principles as Foundational and Operative Energies), the Psychic (the Plan of Archetypes and at a lower level, the psycho-emotional sphere), and the Sensitive (the Plan of Matter and the physical / etheric body) rests on a fair dialectic between these levels of realities.
Ethérapist’s objective is to re-harmonize the person’s imbalance taking into account his/her noetic (spiritual), and psycho-organic wholeness.
The trans-disciplinary approach is the inner attitude observed by the therapist. Indeed, the mastery, even the expertise of a discipline leads to considering all other disciplines as possible entry points for the holistic actual (or real), and genuinely understanding the world and the Man. The systemic approach, for example, teaches us that we are a set of elements in dynamic interaction. Homeostasis is a process of inherent self-regulation related to the intelligence of the body. This intelligence (sui generis) is the reflection and expression of the consciousness (ad divinis) manifested as whole.
From this follows the phenomenon of synergy, which shows that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. The overall optimum of a set can sometimes go through local anomalies. The system self-regulation is handled by constant feedback loops which, thanks to successive returns on the anomaly to be solved, eventually regulate the whole.
This is why the protocol consists of referring implicitly to the founding cosmogonic thought systems as well as to the above-mentioned sciences and new therapeutic approaches. This canvas has, in its lineaments, all of the previously discussed planes (or worlds).
First the context, or framework, is established, creating a conducive atmosphere for the therapeutic dialogue. Then, the therapist makes an initial assessment: he or she measures the patient’s morphic fields through his body. We have seen, in fact, that the body delivers its imbalances by resonance with the many levels of realities that underlie it, and provides the solution to its problem if the latter is correctly identified and the therapist knows, by the holistic approach, how to re-harmonize the deficient area or part of the body.
He tests, with the aid of a Lecher antenna, and/or his hands, and/or a pendulum, or other kinesiological tests, etc. the person’s morphic fields (or electromagnetic fields) vibration physically, emotionally, mentally (left hemisphere, right hemisphere of the brain), on a causal plan.
From a reading-decoding grid that makes sense for both the patient and himself, the therapist associates the first result of his morphic test with an “entry door”. This can be a timeline stress releasing work via NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique, it can be psychosynthesis, or a work on the genealogy to identify a father-mother issue. It may also be a bio-energetical work that directly targets a problem specifically located on the physical level; it may be more psychological work through transactional analysis if a sub-personality seems to emerge from a posture of victim or bully, for example, or even the wheel of trigrams to determine the plan or the different plans of consciousness that require readjustment.
Then by transduction, therapist and patient move further step by step. As his track record gets refined, and by prioritizing both the number of necessary and adapted “entry doors”, in addition to handling new tests, the therapist balances Yin-Yang energy, for instance, and offers paths to progress.
Physically, it can be support such as mineral elixirs, food synergies in phytotherapy, organic food supplements etc. It can also be a symbolic approach to the five elements, a derived ritual from gestalt, psychosynthesis or shamanism. Or it can be about the reinstatement of an aspect of the person’s identity, such as female polarity, for example, through the mother figure, a Goddess, in short, an archetypal-symbolic approach, in the noetic plane (which includes the other planes by resonance). Lastly, it can be art therapy through drawing mandalas, or active contemplation through evocations / invocations of the five senses in connection with the imaginal (the art of the soul’s worlds vision), or reiki, meditation etc.
Clearly, this is an integrative approach which requires one to four sessions about three weeks apart if necessary. This means that the transference and countertransference processes can only barely occur and that it is obviously a brief therapeutic approach. If the therapist realizes that the patient's condition requires psychoanalytic or psychotherapeutic treatment on a psychological level, he/she then suggests the person to actually follow such a treatment for instance, and if necessary, suggests the appropriate therapist.
It is no wonder that Ethérapie™️ proposes to restore the most ecological homeostasis as possible by favoring the most suitable approaches. The therapist seeks to generate a process of self-healing using the reading/decoding grids which he/she masters perfectly. The therapist thus encourages the patient to be attentive to himself/herself, knowing that the therapist’s role here is to precisely identify the imbalance points in the whole body-soul-spirit compound (soma-psyche-pneuma; also called Body-Mind-Soul), so that the established balance sheets make sense globally, and that the corrected adjustments last.
D. “TAO cellular” approach
At all times, Taoist philosophy has brought peace to the spirit. In the same way, body mediation like Qi Gong has kept the physical and energetical body calm. Therefore, it is natural that Ethérapie™️ based on this ancestral wisdom, is an effective life stress management approach.
Whether your life stress is emotional, mental, energetical, or even existential or metaphysical, in four 50-minute coaching sessions spaced a month apart, you will break the deadlock and regain your potential by consolidating your original TAO, bringing meaning to the causality of your stress.
Ethérapie™️ is based on the following 3 principles:
- Our cells know everything about us! They know what is good for us or what is not, they also know if an event still affects us or not, they even know in which order and how we must untie the knots of the past and break the deadlock.
- There is a life force within ourselves that only wants to express itself, to live. However, to do so it is necessary that our acts are in coherence with our deep interiority, with our evolution through Life. The more we are ourselves, the more this energy is able to express itself.
- Since birth we are conditioned by our environment, and we have had to adapt to the constraints and paradoxes of the moment. So, we have a multitude of patterns, often from childhood, that are no longer useful to us, or that hinder our path. To understand them is to bring consciousness and meaning so we are able to free ourselves from it.
Ethérapists welcome you for life coaching sessions regarding a personal, business, sports or couple related issues by consistently beginning with your Original TAO reactivation.
E. An energetical therapist
By E.B Ethérapist since 2009
It is a technique of stress management, specifically metaphysical stress, which approaches the individual as a whole. It is therefore by definition a holistic approach. The various causes of malaise are identified in one or more sessions in order to restore our patient's autonomy in different aspects of his life.
The key to this is in the biotesting (specific subjective feeling, also called a kinesthetic symbiotic response from the body) which allows access to what has been repressed in childhood, and therefore, by extension, to different sources of malaise, since the body keeps the memory of our experience. It is then about collecting information, gathering it in a coherent whole in order to raise awareness for the person. The final step will be to deprogram them using pk codes in the strictest ecology of the person.
What emerges from this practice, besides its energetical aspect, is the possibility for the patient to regain his inner coherence, to live a process that allows him in the more or less long term to reach his full potential and to respond then very precisely to the question: "What do I want to co-create in the universe? "
3. Give meaning to your life, The logic of life - The Embodied Spirituality
Whether our request is spiritual or not, at some point the following question will emerge
"But what am I doing here?”
Or “What did I come to do on Earth?" arises, imposes itself, and often as an answer, another question pops:
"Is there anything bigger than me?"
If religion gives various answers through the patient’s vision of "God", on the other hand, it often confuses the purpose, which is timeless, and the means, which are conjunctural or cyclical. The goal is, of course, to contact that divine part within us, and which thereby unites us to something that transcends us, something that is "greater than us". Written means, either ritual or practical, are there as support and as a guide because it is very rare to be spontaneously “awakened” by chance. Like all means, they must be adapted to the purpose, but also to the context and the person. Thus, we can consider psychology as one of the religions of the end of the twentieth century! God then becomes the collective sub-consciousness or collective unconscious, and the soul the subconscious. This is only one way among others to describe the world, to describe our world. The main point in this description is that it speaks to us; it allows us to give meaning to our life, to our time on Earth.
Now this said, the logic of life leads us to the experience of life and not to an incarnate state. Only immobilism, non-action, becomes a handicap to evolution. This non-action is often linked to the belief that one must do well the very first time around (the myth of the straight line); this is only a concept that comes from the human left brain (the straight line only being the shorter path in this very particular case of 2D Euclidean geometry). The right brain, and all of nature, knows that it is not an accurate belief . Only successive attempts and the analysis of the consequences make it possible to arrive at a state where one feels "OK” and this only for the present time (“here and now”), certainly not "forever and ever".
When searching for the cause, especially when it is transcends the physical plan, thus making the problem more complex to solve, Ethérapie™️ always asks the question “is the cause physical, energetical or spiritual?” (spiritual as giving meaning). For instance: "I have difficulties digesting something that does not make sense in my life".
4. The holistic healing
The healing process that we are going to evoke now is not the one taught within faculties of medicine, but rather the one taught within Lamaseries or psychosomatic decoding. We will thus leave to the medical community the body healing aspect, as it excels about the functional repair plan, which may include surgery.
For us then it will be more about soul healing than the physical body healing. However, in a global systemic perspective of BEing, there is no separation; segregation between the different planes, a system is a set of elements in dynamic interaction toward an objective. Healing on one plane can, therefore, result in healing on another plane, it is even the basis of the psychosomatic approach also called total biology.
We will then no longer speak about “disease” but “dis-ease”.
In French disease is “maladie,” which we can break down as “mal a dit” which can be literally translated by: the “illness has said”.
The biological symptoms are then the echo on the physical plane of spiritual, mental, emotional or energetical problems. Thus, if one does not digest an annoyance or frustration, it is then the digestive system that will serve as a support and then poorly digests the food. As in this example, the somatisation is often in direct symbolic connection with the cause but it is not a generality. In this approach the search for causes and decoding (or meaning) of the conflict is the best way to “heal”.
However, who is healing in this case? As a matter of fact, oneself! Indeed, in a causal energetical approach or a personal self-development one, we are the main actor of our life and therefore initiating the internal process of healing, so it comes from us, consciously or not. This does not mean that we do not need some external help, but simply that if we are not 100% involved, the healing process will not be effective or at least not complete. We fall back on what the ancients already said: “the patients must want to be healed”. We must be aware of what we are ready to put in the balance: on the one hand, healing and on the other hand, what am I willing to invest as energy, money, time and challenges or rethinking to be healed?
Finally, it must be known that even if the soul healing process is internal it is often necessary to work with a therapist (shaman, psychologist, guide, etc.) because in the internal processes of healing, there is the need to be told, heard and recognized by an outside voice.
To conclude this presentation on holistic healing, I propose to discover the precursors of what I would call the “spiritual-psycho-somato” school of thought. Let's start with the oldest reference, Plato (427 - 347 BC.): “wanting to heal the body without wanting to heal the spirit is insanity”.
Then comes an emblematic figure of the Middle Ages, the Benedictine Hildegard de Bingen (1098-1179): “... illness is only the separation from the divine order so that one’s good health necessarily requires God’s assistance and support […] the forces of the soul decide on either one’s health or illness”.
Going further than the theory presentation, she developed an approach based on herbal medicine, nutrition, fasting and especially the understanding of the message that the soul delivers to us through the disease.
Finally let us recall the famous sentence of C.G. Jung (1875- 1961): “the disease is the Nature’s efforts to cure the man. Disease encloses the genuine Gold that he couldn’t find anywhere else.”
As part of an Ethérapie™️ assessment, a structured support for “spiritual-psycho-somato” decoding is nice to have. As a basis, Pascale and Marc Polizzi suggest using one of the dictionaries from the psychosomatic decoding movement such as “The complete dictionary of ailments and diseases” by Jacques Martel or “The metamedicine” by Claudia Rainville or also “What your aches and pains are telling you: cries of the body, messages from the soul” by Michel Odoul.
5. A systemic approach
The systemic approach defines us as a set of elements in dynamic interaction toward an objective. The immediate consequence is: the assessment will only be a picture at a given time; therefore a holistic assessment will have to take into account the dynamic aspect of situations, or life itself.
The first key point of this approach is that the whole system is structured according to an objective; the objective of the system can be, for instance, its survival. This global aim will be broken down into sub-groups for each organ. Therefore, it will be impossible to directly understand the objective of an organ if it is not put into context, or if we do not report the functioning to its overall synergy, with respect to the global objective of the system.
Then the system will self-regulate itself through feedbacks, which is what we call homeostasis.
The second key concept of the systemic approach is referred to as feedback loop. This allows our body, for example, to keep a constant internal temperature regardless of the outside temperature. Such a notion is primordial in order to rebalance: how would you drive a car with eyes closed? It is imperative to have visual feedback to realign the subject’s behavior.
The third and last key point of this approach is the synergy and its strange equation: “2 plus 2 equals 5”, more known as “1 plus 1 equals 3”. When solving a complex problem, it will be necessary to remember that putting several actions in synergy will reach a much higher goal than if obtained with isolated solutions: the whole is greater than the sum of parts.
On the communication side within therapy, the systemic approach is the common reference at the famous School of Palo Alto, South of San Francisco. They have been oriented along three main directions and here following is the unity of their work:
- - The first one is the communication theory relies on the adaptation of the systemic approach, and was done by analyzing powerful communications of great men.
- - The second one is methodology of system change, which is founded on several forms: the mutation, the rupture, the revolution - a type of change proposed by the school of Palo Alto to change the postulates that govern the system as a whole; this type of change is called reframing.
- - The third one is therapeutic practices, which are based on the fact that in any learning process the subject learns to acquire knowledge and becomes more and more capable of solving not only the posed problem itself, but also problems in general. This is another common point with the systemic model.
All of the above mentioned directions show that the systemic approach is holistic in nature. Therefore, it is natural that this approach fits into a holistic therapy such as Etherapie™️.
CHAPTER 2 : Transpersonal Approach
In this chapter, we are going to look more closely at the Transpersonal dimension of Ethérapie™️.
Let’s first take an overview of the Transpersonal movement’s origin and a bit of history.
Pascale and Marc Polizzi wrote a specific book fully dedicated to the Transpersonal concept: “The Transpersonal” (please refer to bibliography section).
Therefore, we can assume that there is plenty to be said. As this handbook is introductory, for now, let’s refer to just part of this concept.
1. The Transpersonal movement’s emergence and introduction
(excerpt from chapter 1 of Pascale and Marc Polizzi’s above mentioned book)
The term transpersonal has an etymology based on an adjective: the word "personal”. It is associated with the prefix "trans”, a Latin word meaning “on the other side”, “beyond”. The transpersonal is what exists beyond the personality, beyond the ego, therefore, it is of the spiritual order.
Historically, the word “transpersonal” had already been used by C.G. Jung in one of his speeches in 1917 and also again in 1947 by Emmanuel Mounier, the French philosopher and initiator of the personalist movement between both wars. Here following is one of his definitions: "... the person is motion towards the transpersonal... ". In 1965, Roberto Assagioli, an Italian neuropsychiatrist at the origin of psychosynthesis, reports that the word “transpersonal” was introduced in psychoanalysis to designate the spiritual.
Through this history of the word, we can already perceive that one of the objectives and contributions of the Transpersonal in psychology is to rehabilitate the spiritual dimension of the human being, giving it a place and an importance in what might be the origin of a person's malaise or suffering. The transpersonal therapist integrates in his/her framework the notion of existential crisis and spiritual emergence. It gives place and importance to the fact that there are moments in the person’s life where the need to transcend oneself is a priority, where the aspiration to live experiences of unity with the cosmos is not only a need, but a legitimate request from the patient.
Since Freud and the creation of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy has continued to evolve and to bring together increasingly broad concepts on the functioning of the human psyche, its needs and its profound nature. One of these latest contributions, still little known to general public, is the Transpersonal one.
The Transpersonal movement was officially born in the United States in humanistic psychology in 1969, under the initiative of psychologist Abraham Maslow and neuropsychiatrist Stanislav Grof.
Regarding the precursors, the first of the great figures of the Transpersonal movement is Carl Gustav JUNG, a Swiss psychiatrist born in 1875. He is at the origin of analytical psychology, which must be differentiated from psychoanalysis. Contributions were also made by the famous Assagioloi, Rogers and - less known - Franlk:
Pictured are the founders of the Transpersonal, among them, Abraham Maslow (left on the image), the well-known Stanislav Grof (top right) and Anthony Sutic:
- What are the specific tools of the Transpersonal?
Among the therapeutic typical tools of the Transpersonal approach, we can find Holotropic Breathwork and Conscious Dreaming. We actually chose the latter as our tool in Ethérapie™️ practice (coaching and / or therapy).
The Conscious Dreaming, also called Waking Dream:
- It was in 1938 that Robert Desoille formalized the guided awaking dreaming technique, an extremely innovative approach that will offer new therapeutic possibilities. This is a technique that will continue to evolve, thanks to his student Georges Romey in the 1970s via the Free Waking Dream (also Free Awakening Dream) or Free Conscious Dreaming.
Let’s have a closer look at the Free Awakening Dreaming or Free Conscious Dreaming (FAD or FCD) (Rêve Eveillé Libre (REL), in French): in 1970, Desoille’s pupil, Georges Romey, discovered through his experiments and studies, that, during conscious dreaming, non-intervention on the part of the therapist gives even more precise and more spectacular results than guided conscious dreaming. He then chose to let the patient express himself freely. According to Romey, the subconscious has one objective: the development of the individual; and the person brings everything (s)he needs at the appropriate time to promote this evolution.
Romey will later on put forward the therapeutic potential that is possible with this technique which solves psychic problems and mental blocks by triggering a process of transformation through symbols.
There is a dynamic in F.C.D. (Free Conscious Dreaming) that will create changes and there will be no interpretation to make. It is a complete process in itself that brings together the three stages of: what is experienced (ie experience), what is perceived (ie consciousness) and what is said (ie the communication), which then allows the healing process to happen.
F.C.D. therapy will evolve in four stages:
- The first dreams will allow the patient to unlock his inner resources, to discover and access his inner freedom.
- Then there will be the establishment of the awareness of this world where everything is possible with the acceptance and welcoming of all the fantasy that can be manifested through the images sent by his subconscious.
- It is only in the third session when the patient is ready and the benevolent security climate has been installed, that personal images will be approached, which echo fears, suppressed emotions or difficulties.
- Finally, in the last series of dreams, the patient will experience an initiatory transformation that will take her/him through the great myths of humanity.
Also if you are considering reading the Transpersonal handbook, please note that since Freud and the creation of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy has continued to evolve and to bring together increasingly broad concepts on the functioning of the human psyche, its needs and its profound nature. One of these last contributions, still little known to the general public, is that of the Transpersonal. The Transpersonal movement is part of the famous third "spiritual" millennium indeed.
This book is positioned as a "transpersonal module" in the context of self-training or training in coaching or therapy.
It is not intended to be controversial or innovative.
Lastly, this version incorporates Marc-Alain Descamps' chapter of the values staircase, as well as a synthesis about Jung.
2. C.G. JUNG
As mentioned above, discussing the Transpersonal without talking about Jung would make little sense.
So, let’s review Viviane Thibaudier’s introduction to Jung, extracted from "100% Jung (Psychic Concentrate)".
Jung is, with Freud, one of the pioneers of psychoanalysis. While everyone has heard of the father of psychoanalysis, as it is customary to call Freud, very few, in France at least, know Jung. He was, however, Freud's "Dauphin" and, with him, one of the founders of the psychoanalytic movement, and was the central figure for several years at the beginning of the twentieth century. Jung was also the first president of the International Psychoanalytic Association (IAP), whose seat was then in Zurich from its founding in 1910 and until 1914 when he resigned. In addition, he was the first editor of the Jahrbuch, which is said to be the first international journal of psychoanalysis.
While expressing "My life is the story of an unconscious who has achieved his fulfillment”, in his extremely humane way of looking at the doctor-patient relationship, Jung does not seek to focus on the pathological side of his patients, or what is dysfunctional in them, to eliminate it, correct it and make them fit into the norm. He knows that everyone has built their neurosis as a reflex of survival and in an attempt to self-heal.
The main goal is not to make it disappear, but instead, to try to understand the springs and the deep meaning. Finding out what its usefulness could be in the context where everyone has been living and evolving has an importance.
In doing so, Jung strives to find in each being his own value and inner wealth, to allow everyone to discover who he/she really is. This, also, allows the patient to live more in coherence with himself/herself, even if it does not conform to what his/her environment expects from him/her.
Indeed, according to Jung, who was a psychiatrist, no one is really normal or abnormal, sick or sane. Who can truly say what "normality" is? All beings are different and we are all, under certain circumstances or at times, a little "disturbed" or even "lost" on the difficult path of life. Perhaps, it is also and precisely where our originality lies, Jung thinks. It's all about how we look at things.
Jung's vision of the world and beings is not a binary vision. It does not seek to fight or eliminate our contradictions or our failings. On the contrary, it strives, and this is the great originality of Jung, to find the meaning that things have for us as of today while living as we are or in our present circumstances.
What then compensates for it expresses what has been unconsciously put in place internally in a natural attempt to find an acceptable balance and to succeed, while somehow continuing to live in spite of our wounds. That is to say, what does it mean to ourselves to have the ultimate goal of integrating it, but this time fully conscious, into all of our personality, and this, in the recognition of the extreme complexity that is our entire being. "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious”, Carl Gustav Jung.
What is the inner guide according to Jung (News RQ # 63 of February 2009)?
Just as the law of immediate karma shows us in filigree the failing areas of our personality by sending back to us as a mirror the effects of our actions, likewise our soul / subconscious acts as an inner guide, as a wise old man who shows us the way.
According to Jung, the soul draws its wisdom from the accumulated experience of all ages, which far from being lost in intergenerational transmissions, have been enriched and remain intact in the depths of our being.
He writes on this subject: "When you are alone and you think you can do what you want, do not forget the old sage who lives in your heart. This wise old man is the living incarnation within us of archetypal images. He is as old as the world and the one who, during two million years, lived the human life with all its sufferings and joys, who has stored within himself the fundamental images of the existence and who, in the name of his eternal experience, delegates an image that makes communion with the human fund, any individual situation, unique in appearance” (from “The man to discover his soul "Jung C. G, Small Payot Library, p 327).
And a little further on: "We depend, to a very large extent, on the grace of the subconscious, on its goodwill to indicate to us the ways which, through the labyrinth of our psyche, must drive safely" (Op.cit, p. 336).
The reason and purpose of this guidance is to bring the man back to his unity or, as Jung says, to achieve his "individuation" by bringing the different parts of his personality together to progress together towards a common goal.
In his introduction to "Man and His Symbols" he writes: "The process of individuation is fully realized only when the conscious and subconscious have learned to live in peace with each other, to complete oneself: it is the condition of happiness" (from "Man and his symbols", Robert Laffont 1983, p. 14).
While the Freudian unconscious has no finalist harmonizing function, no regard to the general interests of the Being, the Jungian subconscious on the other hand, because it sees clear and far, strives to help the conscious find its own way.
CHAPTER 3 : An approach based on kind & maieutics communication
Considering previous chapter, Ethérapie™️ is, obviously, also an approach based on the “Nonviolent communication” (its founder being Dr. Marshall Rosenberg), and benevolence, considering the principles of the Transactional Analysis model.
Let’s first review the principles of such a communication within Ethérapie™️ context.
1. Communicating with oneself and others
Preferring the “I” message instead of “you,” is a central component.
In terms of communication, either to oneself or to others, there are indeed pitfalls to avoid in order not to sabotage the message. First, it is better to avoid, during an authentic communication, the generalizations through the typical "never" and the "always" of any argument. In the same way, all the omissions that leave vague presuppositions, whose origin is often lost, such as, "You can’t really do that!”, “It’s not cool!”, are to be avoided.
It is important for the interlocutor, but also and especially for oneself, to be as explicit as possible. Moving from the implicit to the explicit gives not only clarity and new light, but also new perspectives.
Secondly, it is better to talk using "I" when speaking to an audience. This may be contrary to all school or university oratory conventions, but it is the only way to voice all your subjectivity, and to avoid manipulative traps like the generalization, the amalgam, presupposition, etc. mentioned above.
Thus, during an energetical assessment, it is important to ensure that the patient begins her/his sentence with "I" and, if using the "we", to have it rephrased. These two fundamental rules, like the following ones, can seem very simple, but their application is far from being as easy as one can imagine: months of self-observation and rigor are necessary to really integrate these key points.
Expressing needs or specifications.
An interesting approach, when you want to express a request without limiting it, is to share your needs in terms of objectives and not in terms of solutions.
To understand this difference between objectives and solutions, let's look at a study case:
- Q: What is the use of a lawn mower?
- A: Cut the grass!
- Q: So what's the point of cutting it?
- A: So it does not rise too high
- Q: Why don’t you want high grass?
- A: In order to walk on it like on a carpet
So for this person, a lawnmower serves to provide a garden with grass like a plant rug. The real need found by a sequence of "why?” or “for what? " is obviously not necessarily a standard lawn mower then: a “machine that cuts the grass” is the solution for this person. A machine that reduces the pitch of the grass by electrical discharge sintering also meets the needs, as well as a lawn that does not grow at all or grows very little!
In order to make this "expression of the need" approach more concrete, here are some other examples:
Let’s say "I want to do something with you" rather than "we should go to the movies";
Let’s say "I ask to experience the energy of happiness in my work" rather than "I want a good job".
Preferring “AND” or “OR / AND” to the "exclusive OR".
Another way of opening up rather than shutting down the communication, is to work on the “OR”. In the current vocabulary "or" is systematically exclusive, that is to say that the two proposals exclude each other: "Do you want Charlotte cake or the Black Forest one?”. If we would like to have both, we would prefer an “AND” then! This "or,” which can mean "and," exists among mathematicians and is called "inclusive or”. If the "exclusive or" has educational virtues with children, on the other hand, for the co-creation of our future, feel free to opt for the "inclusive or", which is the “AND.”
Preferring positive phrasing.
The last rule of phrasing that we will address now is to no longer use negation. Again, it's easier said than done, so you have to understand the reasons for this rule.
The principle is that our unconscious does not take into account the negations; it is as if it ignores the "not..." of a sentence. Our left brain, conscious, logical and rational, knows how to treat information via its negative form. This is what we call in mathematics the Boolean logic, and it is the basis of computer science and automatisms. On the other hand, our right hemisphere has an unfortunate tendency to purely and simply suppress the negation especially so in the event of fatigue or stress!
Here some examples:
- a) If I tell you, "Do not think of a pink giraffe", you will immediately think about it!
- b) When you play tennis, saying "no matter what, I must NOT miss that ball", then oups... you miss it!
- c) When a child runs, if he is told "do NOT run" he walks and then quickly after he starts running again!
- d) When one repeats "I must NOT get upset," the nervousness continues to rise and, at the first split second of inattention, bursts.
After reading the previous sentences, I am sure you have found your own examples and you are saying to yourself: “it is not possible, this is exaggerated!” So I simply propose to test the positive phrasing with your environment or yourself.
And here following the sentences matching up with above examples:
- a) "I think a little flower in the meadow".
- b) "I hit the ball 100%".
- c) Tell the children "walk" or "think about walking along the pool".
- d) “I calm down and relax ».
While using it, you will see its efficiency.
Positive phrasing (or phrasing without negation) is also a basis of what is called creative thinking or the creative verb. If, in order to co-create our future, we share our intentions with words or sentences, here too, we must be vigilant and avoid any negation:
- "I do not want to live this hell anymore"
is basically interpreted in case of stress or fatigue by the subconscious as:
- "I want to live this hell",
- "I ask to live paradise every day and in every way"
does not trap you and does not initiate a self-sabotaging program, even if you are stressed out or tired.
Considering the other one’s response as among the possibilities.
If the patient offers you an answer, a solution, never say "no" but "YES", "Absolutely, it's a possibility", "yes it's possible", even if in the second part of the sentence you'll add "but it's better to take another solution". Be assertive, but gently.
2. More specifically in the context of Ethérapie™️: 7 Keys for better communication as an HSP
Indeed Ethérapie™️ gives 7 keys to be able to get into a conversation with someone who is “a ⅔” when one is “a ⅓”.
Let’s start with a foreword and a few reminders, especially about what ⅔ and ⅓ mean.
Here, the picture of the law of statistical population distribution, called standard or “Normal", which follows a Law of Gauss or Normal Law or bell curve:
In this context the central majority part represents 68% of the global population, which is about ⅔. The remaining ⅓ are commonly referred to as a "marginal" part, a connoted term for more than 50 years, but initially considered as a fundamental condition for a living population to persist.
For strategic economic and political reasons, these ⅓ persons are rarely taken into consideration. It is up to them to make the effort to communicate with the ⅔.
Obviously this succinct presentation above is simplified for brevity’s sake, but it allows us to better grasp the model ⅔ - ⅓ as it will be discussed again below.
In any case, whether you consider yourself as ⅓ or not, as a hyper-sensorial person, or not, as you will discover below, it is simply about communicating better between people and respecting each other.
A hyper-sensorial person (or HSP for Highly Sensitive Person according to Dr. Elaine Aron) almost inevitably has the challenge of how to successfully communicate with a ⅔ person without stress, or at least communicate with the least stress possible. Indeed, ⅔ persons are by definition the most numerous and it is difficult to avoid them; learning to live with and among them is inescapable.
The Normal Law phenomenon is present at all levels.
As a result, we face it in our family, with friends, and in working environments, as well as in a wider and more global way.
That's why Ethérapie™️ recommends 7 keys to cultivate the art of relationship with the ⅔ persons.
It will be a series of small principles to keep in mind and adopt each time you enter into a relationship with a ⅔ person (ie not hyper-sensorial nor particularly "plugged").
Communication being on both levels: verbal and corporal (via our body gestures), we will be advising either on one of both plans, or sometime even on both. Our advice will be either standard, therefore, valid for anyone looking to cultivate relationships, or more specifically suitable for the hyper-sensorial persons.
A- First key: Inspiring confidence
We all know that our state of mind rubs off on our posture. Our body gestures speak to the subconscious of anyone in front of us and express in a non-verbal language our feelings towards other(s). If you are enthusiastic, your actions will be innately open, free and your interlocutor will want to establish contact with you.
The first rule will be to internally cultivate this energy of enthusiasm in the morning by practicing different exercises that will refocus and stimulate the life flow energy within ourselves. Qi Gong, breathing practices, yoga postures, singing in the shower, basically anything that might help you to get revitalized will be an asset to conquer the world or at least to navigate through it seamlessly.
To help you stay in such an attitude of openness and enthusiasm there is another important key point to keep in mind. What is your goal while choosing to have a relationship with this person or with this group? Why did you choose to be present? What is the need that motivates you? Being clear with this "why" is essential.
This can be, for example, an economic reason in connection with your professional activity. Or a personal reason, because you want to break free from your isolation and expand your circle of relationships, or make friends.
In such moments, remember that participating in this kind of event is one of the ways to reach your goal, and it will allow you to stay open to opportunities that may arise. As soon as one of our actions regains its meaning, stress decreases and becomes easier to manage. To remember your goal, within Ethérapie™️ we recommend choosing a small object that symbolizes it and can be slipped into your pocket. For example, a coin may correspond to the economic motive, a ball or candy may symbolize friendship or your need to create new bonds, etc.
Finding your own symbol is very important, the object must speak to you and be meaningful to you. You can also wear a color or accessory as long as it automatically connects you to your goal. It is similar to the principle of the famous knot in the handkerchief except that in our case the chosen object will refer to something more precise in your conscious mind.
B- Second key: Listening and be listened to
Depending on the circumstances in which we are led to seek communication, our listening will take different forms. Indeed, if the context is professional or friendly, the stakes are not the same. Similarly, if we are dealing with a known or unknown person our attitude will be different.
The hyper-sensorial persons challenge will be to know how to manage his/her overly empathic nature as well as learning to remain discreet about what he/she feels.
Listening is the art of knowing how to be silent.
Let's see what we implicitly set when we make the choice to listen to each other.
Understanding the other one is very important if we do not want to experience this momentary withdrawal as negative and contrary to our assertiveness.
When we choose to listen to each other, we send two messages: "you are interesting" and "I am available for you” (even in a more formal way if your interlocutor is a customer for example).
This mastery of silence is an asset especially if we know that speaking also awakens the criticism instantly.
In psychology, we have defined different types of listening: open listening, mirror listening, active listening, and so on.
The one we are interested in is the first ones as the other ones call for more aid relationship orientated capacities.
To define open listening, Jacques Salomé (psycho-sociologist and author of “Living with others” published by Les Editions De L’Homme) gives the image of a walk with a friend.
What happens if you walk for example with an older friend? Spontaneously you will adapt to his/her rhythm, you will accept the breaks on a bench, you will hold his/her arm if the path is difficult.
Open listening means being able to put oneself in the same state of mind of the other one. It is to accept the other one regarding his ideas, his matters, his experiences, his beliefs system without judging or interpreting. It is taking time, to enter in the other one’s world with full benevolence.
For a hyper-sensorial person, the effect can be as exotic as a traveler who arrives in an unknown country or even like landing on another planet. Hence the importance of well remembering why we are here and the famous Normal Law.
We should keep in mind that if our feelings are out of step with the speech or the attitude of the other one, we must remain very careful, because most of the time it is important not to mention it to the person. You could feel, for instance, that this person is sad or angry while she does everything she can to hide it. Respecting her wish not to show her true inner state is important if you want to avoid “making her an enemy”.
It is also important to remain cautious with our ego, which can drives us willingly to judge and compare.
Finally if we feel uncomfortable with what our interlocutor thinks, remember to send it to Earth and come back to consciousness of "this does not belong to me".
Fortunately, the moment when you can talk about yourself does also happen, so let’s see how to strengthen the other one’s interest toward our speech. Indeed, it is going to be the moment for you to place in the conversation your famous label which reassures, and puts the ⅔ person at ease: "as an atypical person, as an artist as... , here's my opinion... , or I wonder if... etc ".
Likewise, in a more classic manner, beginning sentences with "Right or Good..." followed by a slight break is very useful, even more so if the situation is tense: for example, while having an argument with your spouse, or if you are going to make a case to get a salary increase. This little word quietly pronounced and followed by a brief pause puts the other one in a positive mood.
In case of conflict it does suggest, indeed, that things have been reflected in a positive way.
Likewise, slowing down the rhythm of our voice, having slower gestures, brings back the sense of a calm and steady person who knows what she is talking about and who knows what she is doing. Your interviewer feels then confident and will be more willing to welcome your arguments or your request.
Another language tip which immediately arouses the other one’s interest is using "because". As soon as we complete our sentence by introducing this simple word we will add understanding for the other one.
We are entering into a process of openness that will allow the other person to better understand the reason of our choice, the reason for our proposal or approach, etc. We then offer the person a chance to get to know us better.
Here an example:
- You attend a conference and you want to get in touch with the person sitting next to you: "I am here because I know Mr X, what about yourself? Did you read his book because I wonder if I should buy it."
C- Third key: Getting into the habit of sending positive messages
Studies have shown that our brain does not hear the negations; this is especially so in stressful situations. Also, our brains cannot comprehend a contrary without its opposite. So, if I ask you not to think about a red car. What have you just thought about? A red car, haven’t you? You thought about it right before realizing that you were not supposed to simply think about it. The brain does not know how not to do it. While adding that in case of stress, the effect is even more pronounced, so we can then understand why some of our messages will lead to the opposite effect of the one sought.
Have you noticed that in our language we use a lot of negations, or terms with negative connotations? For example, when we love something instead of saying it's good, it's beautiful, etc. we say “it's not bad” (or “not so bad”; therefore using “not” and “bad”) or it's “not stupid”, “it's not wrong!”. We are in the paradox of having gotten ourselves into the habit of using two negations, while initially wanting to express a positive feeling, value something or someone. As a result, the real message we send to the other one's brain and that he/she will unconsciously be recording will be: "It's bad, it's stupid, it's wrong...". We understand why from that moment his/her state of mind towards us will be conducive to rather say “no” to our ideas than to favorably welcome them. The other one is then no longer receptive, we just closed few doors without realizing it.
Another very classic example: "Please do not hesitate to call me if you need more information". We see here again how the subconscious message runs against our objective, which becomes "please hesitate to...". Transform your sentence with an affirmation: "Please call me if you have any other questions". So focusing on what needs to be done, and not on the other way around, is important (this is also the basis of the so famous Law of Attraction).
What happens in case of stress indeed? This phenomenon of negations erasing by the brain is then even greater. Since it is our limbic brain taking over, the “thinking” brain becomes disconnected; there is no possibility to fix the message.
In our framework, where the goal is to establish open and positive communication, it is also important to identify and avoid words with negative connotations such as: forgetting, missing, failing, error, fear, problem, delay, magnifying, none, defective, unacceptable, illness, difficult, complicated, deceiving, etc., even though these terms are the same ones that outlined our academic curriculum! Indeed, by using this type of term we precisely focus the brain’s attention on what we want to avoid. The brain will have to do a lot of work to more or less successfully restore the meaning of the message. Therefore, let’s use affirmative or imperative forms; let’s choose terms with positive meaning. You will automatically win because, in addition, the positive formulation is much more rewarding for the other one in terms of recognition and motivation.
Transforming your language by limiting the negations to the maximum demands requires close and constant vigilance, and lot of perseverance at first. It is as much an observation and work of each instant, as it is about creating new reflexes and habits in an environment and society that just pushes for the opposite.
D- Fourth key: The importance of your gaze, testimony as your genuine interest in the other one
The eye communicates much more than any part of our body. Not only does it show our confidence, but it also increases the credibility of our message and helps us understanding what the other person is trying to say. The gaze provides information.
Looking at each other is getting in touch with him or her, maintaining his/her attention, and it helps us to perceive his/her reactions, to know whether (s)he listened to or understood us.
The challenge is that too much of a strong look can be perceived as aggressive, while an evasive look can be perceived as though you have no interest in the words your interlocutor just spoke. Looking the person in the eyes can be delicate too. Thankfully there are a few little tricks to help you not put yourself under stress while still creating a climate of trust.
For example, one may wonder what is his/her interlocutor’s eye color. Then looking for what nuances we can find, refining the description we would make of it. Let’s take the example of a different kind of brown: you have hazelnut or champagne, etc. Often looking at the point at the middle of the forehead right between both of his/her eyes is a good advice and then we can move down to the cheeks and then back to the forehead, etc. If you have any trouble, you can tell yourself that you should be able to give a fine description of the person’s face following the conversation. Regardless, keep it natural, blink, breathe!
E- Fifth key: Giving feedbacks
The etymology of the word “feedback” comes from “feeding” and “return” obviously. When we talk about communication, feedback is the cursor that will allow us to become aware of the effect produced by what we say to our interlocutors whom, in turn, will see the effect that they are having on us through the feedback we are sending back to them. It is very difficult to be aware of what we are communicating. How do we know if the other one has understood us correctly, or how do we know whether or not what we have understood is actually what our interlocutor wanted to convey to us? It is impossible to not give feedback, just as it is impossible to not communicate. Not wanting to communicate is already communicating something. Therefore, listening to the feedback is important, as its analysis is also a vital step to re-adjusting if necessary.
If we listen to someone, and in order to send him/her feedback without interrupting, we will use body language. Through our body, our positioning, our eyes, we are able to "tell to the other one" the interest or non-interest that his/her words have aroused. We have seen that maintaining visual contact with the other one is experienced as a sign of attention, as well as a smile, but it is possible to nod in agreement or lean slightly forward to acquiesce.
Having your feet and your body turned towards each other shows that we are trying to be in tune with him or her.
In the same way, we know that if the other one sighs, shakes his/her head, looks down or folds his arms leaning backwards it is sending us the signal that he or she does not agree, or is even displeased or irritated by our words.
On the verbal level, reformulation is a form of feedback that shows that true communication has been established between both interlocutors. Rephrasing helps to show that we have listened to the other one, to check that we have understood the meaning of his remarks, and possibly to clarify or redefine the meaning. This is the best way to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.
There are several reformulation techniques. We will essentially discuss three of the simplest ones to apply:
The first known, called echo or parrot, is about repeating your interlocutor’s words. For instance:
- - “It's hard right now I feel tired.”
- - “I understand, you feel tired.”
It is also possible to use this to restart an exchange:
- - “It's hard right now I feel tired.”
- - “Tired?…”
By reacting this way we show the other one that we have listened to and heard him/her.
The second technique is the mirror reformulation one: you rephrase your interlocutor’s words with your own ones through paraphrasing. In order to do so, we will begin our sentence with expressions such as: "In other words... if I understood correctly... if I understand correctly... you mean that...". We can see that in this case our goal goes beyond since we seek to verify that we have understood what the person is trying to express to us. This shows a genuine interest in what (s)he expressed and (s)he will then feel understood.
The third possibility is going to be very useful when we are dealing with an interlocutor who has showered us with plenty of details. This is the summarized reformulation. It should be about doing a synthesis of what has been mentioned, to see one or two points which we are interested in or seem essential to us. Our sentences could begin with: "In the main you are telling me that... If I sum up... In the end... In two words..."
This will allow to refocus the discussion, or if our synthesis is not appropriate we then give the opportunity to the other one to specify his thought.
As a highly-sensorial person, our difficulty will be about the feedback evaluation and its analysis. Indeed, via the amplification phenomenon, we should have the reflex to reduce, to bring us back to the reality of the other one’s intention. If a person sends me signs of irritation, as a highly sensorial person I, indeed, perceive this information with a feeling or an emotional experience multiplied by 4 or 6 or even more for some of them.
If I interpret this feeling without the awareness of my hyper-sensoriality condition, I will believe that the other one’s irritation is 4 or 6 times stronger than his/her inner reality. I will then put myself at stress with the risk of disproportionately reacting since the reality is 4 or 6 times less "serious" than what I perceived. In the same way, if I feel that the other one finds me nice I will have to remember to divide by 4 or 6 this impetus to me if I do not want to get myself eventually disappointed and feeding illusions.
F- Sixth key: The coherence
Let us first mention the case of classic communication: if there is a gap between what we think and say, or with the actions we take, we immediately lose our credibility with our interlocutor. The other one unconsciously feels this incoherence between our external speech and our inner state of mind.
However, there may be situations where expressing our thoughts or sharing our opinions is not possible, even though the occasion requires us to remain committed to openness. How do we stay consistent in such a context? One of the solutions is to practice some quick exercises in order to stay focused and not succumb to stress.
The first one is breathing. Fully and deeply breathing by having an equal inhale to exhale. If in a second time you could put your attention on your heart to practice what is called cardiac coherence breathing this would be very good too. This may seem simple, but rest assured that it is a very effective way to find inner calm and serenity. It is also very discreet therefore possible in all circumstances. As soon as we succeed in putting our body in a pleasant relaxation state, our mind and emotions follow, and we can then feel neutral again at least.
In the case of the highly sensitive or hyper-sensorial person, the difficulty is reinforced by the fact that the other one feels that we are not like him/her without being able to identify how. (S)He will then start to experience stress and feel insecure since (s)he can not explain those feelings. The solution will be to give him/her what is called a “label”. By presenting us with a qualifier that the other one can recognize, because as part of his/her references we will reassure him/her, (s)he will be then able to explain everything thanks to our initial message, indeed.
As an example: you are vegetarian while your family enjoys red meat. If you remind them at each family reunion: "OK I'm coming, but remember I'm the atypical one of the family." The other ones will only be able to agree. Then, either they accept you in such conditions, or if they feel too disturbed within their own reference, they don’t invite you over for lunch, but only for coffee. Everyone is a winner, we come to a solution with minimum stress for everyone. You can see how everything you will be doing different from them will become normal since you are atypical or original.
Choosing the right label is very important because there should be no negative connotation behind the chosen word. Avoid words such as “weird”, “marginal”, “different”. Those words are actually the ones that ⅔ persons are likely to use if you do not take the lead by giving them the word of your choice. This label is going to be our trailer as soon as we meet new people. We will have to learn to systematically mention it so that the other one can immediately locate you and, therefore, have a logical explanation to all your behavior, belief systems, and values that do not fit into his/her world. For example, you just registered your child at school. Immediately notify the teacher that you are an atypical mother. So when you ask her not to give candy to your child, because you think that sugar is not good for his/her health, she will not be surprised and will accept more easily your idea as "a little strange”. Other possible labels: artist, bohemian, trendsetter…
G- Seventh Key: Cultivating Affinities
The great difficulty as a hyper-sensory person, therefore, as belonging to the group of the marginal third, is to find common points, centers of interest and compatible with the universe of the ⅔ persons. But creating affinity points provides a certain truth basis that can be very useful. To be able to communicate with them, the strategy will consist in documenting you on the subjects that interest them.
You know and you have understood that they will never try to understand you, so it will always be up to you to take the first step and maintain the relationship. A tip to know the world of the other one is to regularly flick through one or two magazines that will give you the topics that are in the air for the ⅔ persons. Take for example “Marie-Claire” or any current woman magazine and you will have the fashionable trends, the psychological or beauty themes of the month for the girls. Think about Auto or Sports magazines for boys.
Another tip regarding closer people will be to be interested in what interests them, their favorite hobbies, their talents, their favorite themes. By connecting them to their favorite activities, you will learn a lot of things in areas you have never explored before because those interests are too far from your universe. So, thanks to the other ones you will enrich yourself with an indirect knowledge that can be quite interesting. And of course, if you have common affinities or interests take advantage of it emphasizing it, it's a quick and easy way to build trust and create relationships.
To summarize, it must be recognized that for an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) communicating is a challenge that requires not only to use the traditional communication rules that are already an art, but in addition to take into account our own personal specificities. These specificities require vigilance and management at all times. Being well aware of what characterizes this hyper-sensorial nature is therefore vital if we want to successfully integrate ourselves into our society or in any group.
Obviously the model ⅓ - ⅔ is caricatural, but it pedagogically allows us to better describe the 7 keys. Then, as always in "real life", everything is more subtle, and remains a story of adaptation.
3. Humanist approach
The current of humanistic psychology considers the unconscious as a resource. It also postulates that, placed in a favorable context, every person has the capacity to understand her difficulties, and to find her own solutions. To create such, the therapist-client relationship that will be established must be a person-centered relationship.
In Ethérapie™️, it is also assumed that it is the patient who has the information, who knows what is fair, positive, and ecological for him/her.
Likewise, he/she also has the resources and the potential to put in place the appropriate changes. The role of the therapist is to offer a safe & benevolent space so that the patient feels welcomed and respected in their ecology. Through the biotest, the Ethérapist will be able to accompany the patient in this exploration of himself by referring to him what is at stake at the level of his subconscious, and by presenting him with different exercises so that he can reconnect with his full potential.
The patient is the one who will act and take charge of his/her change.
Ethérapie™️ is in keeping with the positive and creative vision of human beings, with the aim of reclaiming their autonomy.
4. Yin Yang energy Tao Approach
First a few words about Yin Yang energy.
Yin Yang is a subtle dialectic. We say Yin Yang without the “&” because it is the same thing only with 2 different facets. Yin Yang is the same dynamics: the one of the inhale and exhale. I inhale but if I only inhale, I will die, and if I just exhale, I will die too.
So the Yin Yang dynamics is the one of life itself, alternating Yin Yang.
We all have a stronger polarity. Some people have more of the Yin polarity, others more of the Yang one. It is traditionally said that men are Yang and women are Yin however there are very Yang women and very Yin men. So in Ethérapie™️ approach, it is always about having this completeness: whatever the Yang form might be, the Yin one in front of it should have an equal presence. If for instance, you are facing a challenge and you have too much of the Yang energy, and you want to dominate, this is not necessarily the right method. You will also require, indeed, as much of the Yin energy to maximize your listening abilities to absorb whatever is going on, and thus, overcome this challenge.
It is more rather the surfer attitude: the surfer will have to adapt to the particular wave, which is more Yin. This Yin Yang alternation makes it possible to overcome the challenges, and to do so with much more ease.
Ethérapie™️ is an atypical approach based on the right-brain hemisphere and the TAO, whether from a philosophical or energetical, or even physiological point of view. Indeed, Ethérapie™️ favors body mediation as a tool of correction and Qi-Gong has its place of choice, a Qi-Gong accessible to everyone as part of a coaching or a therapy.
Whether in coaching or therapy framework, we always start by putting the original TAO in place, the archetypal Yin Yang energy of the person. Ethérapie™️ is also one of the few approaches that systematically relies primarily on the connection to its inner TAO. Then we approach the young Yang or the young Yin via the inner child and finally, the outer Tao through the couple and the Yin-Yang communication. Old Yang (wise Yang) or old Yin (wise Yin) is of course not forgotten, every time the mental side takes over.
It is then on the Taoist philosophical principles that we rely.
In more "psy" terms, we propose an individualization process with the animus-anima integration from Jung (the inner androgynous couple) and the reconnection of the divine-bratty child (still from C.G. Jung), all through a Transpersonal approach.
A few last words to conclude on the TAO approach, let’s mention some of the key attributes of the Inner Yang and Inner Yin:
- INNER YANG TAO is about: benevolent safe protection / security / action / engaging in acts - taking actions / concretizing / deciding / doing.
- INNER YIN TAO is about: having ideas / receptivity / creativity / feeling / sensing / listening thinking / finding solutions / cycle / there is a time for each thing.
Lastly, from Pascale and Marc Polizzi’s experience, as "right-brain" persons, hyper-sensory persons or highly sensitive persons (HSP), high-potential persons, and of course any "dominant right-hemisphere" persons respond very well to the TAO approach.They truly benefit from it.
I wish the reading of this introductory handbook has been pleasant and profitable, and that your mind has been opened to things previously unknown to you.
I also hope that you discovered not only what Ethérapie™️ is in the global sense, but also learned in some detail how it is related to the Transpersonal psychology and movement.
As the Ethérapie™️ official representative and coordinator for its English format, if you have any question or wish to learn further about it, brief therapy, coaching sessions, and also training program to become Ethérapist, please feel free to contact me directly either by phone and email:
Thank you for reading this, and I genuinely wish you serenity, harmony and true inner happiness.
I would like to very much thank Pascale and Marc Polizzi for allowing me to draw this first introductory handbook material from some of their amazingly prolific French written work listed here:
You can find their full book collection (in both kindle and paperback formats) through the following link:
What is Ethérapie™️?
by Laurie Couture
v1.0 Copyleft 2019-2020